Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dream a Little Dream, part Dos

My subconscious has a very active imagination. I have very vivid, realistic dreams. And I usually remember them. Well, most of them...or at least wake up with very strong emotions from whatever was happening in my dream.

Maybe I'll start a dream journal on here, and you can all psycho-analyze me.

So, for the past few nights, I've had different variations of the same recurring dream. I dreamt that my husband decided he didn't love me anymore, and left me to be with somebody else. Each night, the dream was slightly different, but the theme was the same. And each night, I was devastated. And then panic set in. Panic at the thought that I might actually have to be alone.

I remember a thought occurring to me in the dream along the lines of, "Who am I going to be with now?"

And my own personal analysis? There's some truth to it. Not the part where my husband leaves me (I hope), but the part that I am afraid to be alone.

I am a very social person. I need people. And as long as I can remember, I always had a boyfriend. Always. I was once accused by a girlfriend in high school that all of my boyfriends overlapped. And as much as I hate to admit it, its kinda true. I even dumped a guy after I met my hubby.

I couldn't live without my girlfriends either. I have to talk about everything I go through.

Take away my people, and I am nothing but the shell of a woman, who happens to be devastatingly beautiful, have a wicked awesome sense of humor, and a sparkling personality.

Hey, I never said, I was afraid to be with myself!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Where, oh where has my little June gone?

I have been...well...distracted. By, you know, life and stuff.

When I first started this blog, I was having what I guess I would call a bad marriage moment. We all have them, don't you go telling me you don't, but everyone does. If you think you don't you're lying to yourself. Everyone has problems. It is how we choose to react to those problems that defines our character.

In the fall, my husband travels. A lot! And it's hard, you know. And while he's gone, I get lonely, then sad, then totally and completely PISSED OFF!

Well, he's been home now for a month. And I haven't been blogging because I have been basking in wedded bliss. Now, I'm totally madly in love with my husband, and of course with Santa's elves peeking in the windows at any given moment, my children are perfect little angels, and I'm totally in love with them!

For now.

My husband leaves again next Tuesday. I know, right before Christmas! Well, of course it's college football bowl game time, so he HAS to actually GO to the games. I even offered to throw a giant man party, and have all of his stinky buddies over to watch the games, but NO. He has to GO to the games. So, we'll see how I feel about him next week.

And of course, by next Friday afternoon, after the munchkins score all of their loot, they'll turn back into rotten, good for nothing, spoiled brats. So, we'll see how I feel about them after that.

But for now, I'm blissfully happy, enjoying the holidays, and I just wanted to write a token, happy, post, to let you know I'm still alive.

Merry Christmas!