Thursday, May 20, 2010


I'm struggling with something, and I don't know how to talk about it. Normally, I would call my best friend to brain storm with her about my problems. But, I can't. You see, the problem is about her. And I just don't know how to talk to her about it.

I feel like we're drifting apart. And I don't know why. I'm afraid I may have unknowingly said or done something to offend her. She's been there for me through so many of my issues, listened to me whine about my problems, and I've been there for her. At least I'd like to think so. I'm worried that maybe I haven't been as good a friend and I thought I was.

And I've told myself all of the reasons I can think of why it's all in my head. That we're not really drifting apart. She's been neck deep in this huge project that she's taken on. She's had some family issues. I know she's stressed and busy. And I shouldn't expect her to take time out of her busy day to pay attention to me. And normally I'm not a jealous person. At all. I understand people have their lives to live, and families, and stuff.

But, I have this pit in my stomach. Deep down, I know there's a rift between us, I just can't seem to put my finger on it. She has been spending a lot of time with a mutual friend of ours. Normally I wouldn't care at all about that. But, somehow, I feel like I've been replaced. When I call her, she doesn't have time to talk. When I offer to help her, she doesn't really have an answer for me. She has stopped calling me. When I call her, she puts me off.

I've thought about bringing it up with her. But, the last thing she needs right now is more drama. So, I'm keeping my doubts to myself.

I am heart broken, and I don't know what to do.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Dare to Dream?

I know its been 4 months since I last posted. I guess I've been sleeping peacefully...or just too stinking busy to write about anything.

But last night, I had this dream. I'm kinda of scared to put it out here, but sometimes you just have to get stuff off your chest, ya know? I'm sure it means nothing. Positive. Really, really.

Ok, here goes.

Last night, I was in the midst of a perfect and wonderful erotic dream about my super hot hubby, when suddenly, in enters one of my really good girlfriends, who then proceeds to join in on our naughty rendezvous. I'll spare you the details, but it got pretty steamy, to say the least.

Where on earth did that come from? I have to say, I'm pretty mortified. No, mortified is an understatement. I'm totally and completely weirded out!

Let me just say this. I am a completely straight-man-loving-never-be-a-lesbian-in-a-million-years type of girl. So, why on earth would my subconscious present me with a dream like that?

Why? whywhywhywhywhywhy?!!

p.s. if I ever told my husband about this dream, which, by the way, I never will, he would totally LOVE it! What is it about men and threesome fantasies?